


Assurance

by whynot



Series: Gage and Bishop [4]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Chem Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 03:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whynot/pseuds/whynot
Summary: Two weeks after Gage reluctantly left with Mae for the Commonwealth, he comes back to one of his worst fears.





	Assurance

They arrived around 2am, and it took everything Gage had not to bolt towards Fizztop. He wouldn't exactly say it out loud, but he'd been worried. He'd never been apart from Bishop this long since they met, and two weeks of Bishop alone with his own mind and no one to reassure him was dangerous. Gage had told Mason to keep an eye on him, but the Alpha had insisted that Bishop didn't need a babysitter. Gage didn't need him to be a babysitter, he needed someone to make sure Bishop was all right. 

Gage opened the door to their loft, and his heart turned into a sack of ice inside his chest. The pack of chems Bishop told him he'd gotten rid of was unzipped, and used chems were strewn about the room. Bishop was in their bed, laying on his stomach with his arms tucked around the pillow. 

Gage slammed the door, and Bishop bolted up.

"Oh, fuck," he groaned, collapsing right back down. " _Fuck._ Too fuckin' loud." He turned his head sideways, cheek against the pillow. "Gage? Y'came back."

He dropped his pack. "Course I'm fuckin' back. What, were you hopin' different?"

"What? No! No. I just... I thought..." He roved a hand over his shorn head. "Thought that... bein’ out there, you'd realize how much better shit is without me. Maybe remember how great things were before the human fuck-up came along. Some shit like that, I dunno."

Gage's anger turned heavy inside him. "For fuck's sake, kid." He turned Bishop over and got on top of him, knees and hands braced on either side of him so he was hovering over the ex-Fiend. "That's fuckin' stupid, and it definitely ain't a reason for you to go on a bender. Fuck, I thought you were done with this shit."

“You don’t get it, man. I… I ain’t never had anything like this before. This is the best thing that’s happened to me. Don’t wanna lose it. I’m fuckin’ terrified of losin’ it. Now you're back, findin' out that I fucked up again and you..." His eyes started to shine with unshed tears. "You givin' up on me?"

That broke his fucking heart. "I know what I signed up for, kid. I can handle it. I shouldn't've left, knowin' you were goin' through shit."

“Nah, see, that’s the thing.” Bishop sat up, forcing Gage to do the same. “That side of me, that ugly, good-for-nothin’ side that you don’t like? That’s always gonna be a part of me. Ain’t nothin’ can be done about it. I’m always gonna be messin’ up, always gonna have days that ain’t good. You make things better, but you don’t get rid of everything. And that’s somethin’ you’re gonna have to deal with. If not always, then for a long, long time. If that ain’t somethin’ you wanna do, then… we gotta cut this off before the point of no return.”

“What point is that,” Gage asked quietly.

“The one where I tell you I love you.” He reached up to grip the back of Gage's neck. "Love you so much that it feels like I'm gonna split open."

Gage felt like the air had just been knocked out of him, and he took in a stuttering breath. He fucking hated that word, but... "I love you, too."

“That’s a bad call,” Bishop whispered. “Ain’t nothin’ good that can come of that.”

“Nothin’ good? You’re the best thing I got, Kay.”

He swallowed hard. “Your life must be pretty shitty, then.”

“For fuck’s sake, _stop that_. I fuckin’ hate it.”

“This is what I’m talkin’ about!" He shoved Gage down and crawled on top of him, taking his face between his hand. "I can’t turn it off, man. I’m always gonna be puttin’ myself down, always gonna need reassurance, always gonna need someone to drag my stupid ass out of the gutter when I fall into it. If you can’t deal with that—“

“I can. All right? I can. I’m patient. But you ain’t always gonna be like this. You ain’t gonna be fine right away, but you will be. And if I gotta argue with ya or put some sense into you until you are, then so be it. I ain’t sayin’ I’m not gonna get frustrated with ya, ‘cause I’m gonna. That’s for real fuckin’ sure. But I ain’t gonna give up on you.”

Bishop held his gaze for a moment, then ducked his head against Gage’s neck, a groan wailing out of him. “Fuck. I don’t deserve you.”

Gage didn’t know how the kid could say such sappy stuff out loud. He roved his hand over Bishop’s stubbled head to his neck, giving a comforting squeeze. “C’mere, Kay.”

Bishop moaned before lifting his head to kiss him. Didn’t take him long at all to start getting handsy. “Missed you,” he sighed, placing a kiss on Gage’s neck.

Gage had missed him, too. So fucking much. He couldn’t even sleep most nights, being so used to having Bishop next to him. Mae had tried to help, platonically cuddling up to him, letting him hold her. But she was too soft, too small. Didn’t cling like Bishop did.

"Stop, stop..." he told Bishop gently. "I ain't fucking you when you're chemed up."

Bishop stopped moving, but he kept his face hidden. "... Are you mad at me?"

Gage sighed. "I'm pissed that you lied to me and kept the chem pack. How long you been on this bender?"

"Few days, I guess. Hard to keep track of time. I've been hanging out with Mason, and that helped some, but. I dunno. It got too much."

Gage guided him up and kissed him. "Shouldn't've been gone for so long."

"You're back. S'all that matters." He flopped down next to Gage and draped his arm over his chest, and Gage pulled him closer. 


End file.
